Fear. Such a strong emotion – so what do you do with it?

In December, I found a new small lump in my breast. For those who know me, I was diagnosed with cancer in May 2021 and only finished treatment in spring 2022, so I was naturally afraid. Of course there are many situations that can cause us to be fearful. How do you work through that?

1. ALLOW YOUR EMOTIONS
They are there whether you acknowledge them or or hide from them. You can release and move through them more easily by recognising them, allowing them. I work through a lot of emotions while walking in nature. Journaling or literally just sitting and being with how you feel are two other ways.

2. LOOK AT THE WORST CASE SCENARIO
Face it. Identify what’s underlying your fear. In this situation of a cancer returning, it was death and, even worse for me, leaving my child without a mother. There is power in looking at your deepest fear head on and working through it or coming to accept it. 

3. LOOK FOR THE POSITIVES OF YOUR SITUATION
At some point a concerted effort is required, especially if you are not naturally an optimistic person. You need to see the strengths of your situation and of you as a person. In this situation, it was that any lump would have been caught much earlier than my last and that I had got through a similar situation before. Be grateful, be immodest – make sure your ‘self-talk’ / inner dialogue builds you up.

4. CHOOSE YOUR SUPPORT NETWORK WISELY
I didn’t want my lump scare to spoil the festive season. I chose to tell one person. Someone resilient and someone who gives great pep talks! You do not want someone who reinforces a sense of powerlessness or victimhood. Choose someone who listens well, motivates you, uplifts you or can give practical advice. If you don’t have that person, there are forums and helplines for so many different situations – reach out to them, as they want to be there for you. You know what/ who you need.

5. CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLES, THEN LET IT GO
Action can certainly help the process of dispelling fear! Be proactive, do what you can – in this case seeing a doctor urgently. But at a certain point you have to let go and shift your attention. What else matters to you? What are you trying to create, what do you love? I wanted to enjoy Christmas with my family.

The order of these steps is not set in stone, nor is the time that it takes to work through them. It may take moments, hours, days or weeks and you may need to repeat them if fear surfaces again. Practice certainly helps.

Whatever you are facing, big or small, I hope these ideas are useful to you. Be brave, be strong, you can do this.

As an aside, let me take this as an opportunity to remind you to be body aware – if in doubt, get it checked out! Your life matters. Let’s all be well.

P.s. – I am OK – fortunately this new lump was not cancer.